Tainted White
by Lil' Amethyst Angel
Summary: Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. What happens when his façade starts to crack? Warnings: language, drugs, self-mutilation, violence, shounen-ai, etc.
1. Prologue

**Tainted White  
-Prologue-  
By: Lil' Amethyst Angel**  
  
**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack?  
  
**Warnings:** OOC and angst.  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
Innocence. It's a useful thing to have when you're in my line of work. It's especially helpful when I have to go undercover. No one would ever expect someone so "innocent-looking" to be an assassin. Truthfully, I'm not innocent. Youji and Ken may jokingly comment on how "naive" I am or how my "innocence is just so cute", but they both know that I am not innocent. If anything, I'm the most horrible out of our whole team.  
  
It's ironic really. I'm part of Weiss Kreuz- White Cross, yet I absolutely hate the color white. White is the color of purity. It can be corrupted by any other color. Black is the only color I really like, though it is more of a shade, I guess. Nothing can ruin black...except white. I hate white even more for that reason. It is the only thing that can overpower black.  
  
I used to be white. I used to be truly innocent, but not anymore. Now, I'm black. No other color can affect me, I won't let any. People think Aya has no feelings; that he doesn't care, but that's not true. He is just very good at hiding them. I, on the other hand, do not have any feelings anymore. My cheerful attitude is a façade, a mask that I have spent much time perfecting. It seems it has become so realistic that even my teammates, the people who are supposedly closest to me in the world, can't even see through it. Then again, maybe they just don't look hard enough. They probably just don't care.  
  
**To Be Continued**   
  
**Author's Note:** This is my second fic, all about my favorite Omi. This prologue is very short, but the other chapters will be much longer. Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks for reading. 


	2. Fake Smile

**Tainted White  
-Fake Smile-   
By: Lil' Amethyst Angel**  
  
**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack?  
  
**Wanrings:** Swearing, drugs, implied prostitution, mentions of violence, OOC (dark Omi), angst  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
Dark crimson pools onto the floor, surrounding the man I have just killed. Mission complete. Another asshole who had no concern for human life.  
  
I've learned some things in the relatively few years of my life. One of those things is, killing one person won't undo their wrongs, but I kill them anyway.  
  
"The target is down, clear out." I speak into the headset, knowing my three teammates will be listening for confirmation. This was a simple mission. The target was an easy kill. I head for the door, but look once more at the dead body lying a few feet away from me. Fool. He let himself get killed.  
  
That may seem like an odd, possibly heartless, thought to have given the situation. People like him make me sick. I don't mean criminals, I mean people who are weak like that. I would never be that careless. All my life I have fought to survive. I lived through my kidnapping, the training I received at such a young age, the death I was forced to cause, and the lack of what people refer to as "love". I, personally, do not believe love exists. There is lust and need but not love.  
  
At a young age I learned emotions and feelings are not something to be shown. If you hide your feelings, having complete control over them, only then are you safe. I have mastered my feelings over time and am therefore safer than I would be otherwise. Trust is, also, something one should not rely on. If you place your trust in someone you are asking to be hurt and betrayed. Don't blame that person when they finally give you what you asked for.  
  
I arrive at the car only to find the others already waiting there. I slide into the car next to Ken. Youji starts up the car, Aya sitting next to him up front, and we drive away from the murder scene as if nothing has happened.  
  
We finally arrive home around two thirty in the morning.  
  
After every mission each member of Weiss does something different, after getting cleaned up that is, to ease their guilt. Youji will drown himself in alcohol and cigarettes. Ken goes on a run or kicks around a soccer ball at a deserted park. Aya immerses himself in work, the flower shop's stock, income, etc. I go to my room and sleep. I try to act less cheerful for the rest of the night.  
  
I furrow my eyebrows and frown as I start on the steps up to my room. By doing this little action the other members of Weiss can tell I feel guilty, as well. At least, it makes it seem like I am guilty. Honestly, I don't give a fuck, but it would seem suspicious if I wasn't. If you are part of an assassin group like Wiess, it's only natural to feel guilt for the lives you take. If we didn't feel that guilt we would be just as bad as the people we kill. I guess I am just as bad.  
  
I sigh, remembering I will have to get up to go to school in a few hours. Youji smiles sympathetically, seemingly guessing my thoughts.  
  
"You know, you could just skip school, Omi." I frown. Youji knows fully well that I would not skip school. It is, after all, morally wrong. Yes, I know how ironic that sounds, considering my 'night job'. I saunter up to my room and close the door. Plopping down on my bed I proceed to quickly fall asleep.  
  
I wake up the next morning to find sun streaming in through the window. I look at the clock and realize I woke up a few minutes before the alarm would go off. I get out of bed and ready for another boring day of school. I hop down the stairs, grabbing an apple off of the counter for breakfast. I usually do not eat much in the mornings, partly because I'm never hungry then and partly because I'm too tired from doing research up until late the night before to eat.  
  
Aya walks into the kitchen, going over to make some coffee. "Good morning, Aya-kun! I'm going to be late coming home from school today. I want to finish up a project at the library. Is that okay?" I smile. I think I hear an affirmative "hn" and leave, knowing I will not get anything more out of him.  
  
I don't actually have a project to do. I am meeting some 'friends', but I don't think Aya and the others would approve of them. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them ended up becoming one of our targets some day...  
  
The day seems to drag on. Finally, the dismissal bell rings and I'm out of there is a flash. I go over to an apartment building a few blocks from the school. After climbing a few flights of stairs I reach the floor I want and go and knock on the door at the end of the hall. I can hear locks being opened and am greeted by the sight of my grinning, and obviously high, friend, Mike. I met Mike at a rave I went to a little while back. He's a real idiot, but he has connections. His brother, Damien, is a hard- ass drug dealer.  
  
I've been needing a hit real bad lately. I've been all out for a while. Yeah, I do drugs. I haven't been doing it for very long, though. When I was at a party with some friends a few months ago they gave me some E. I never got into it. Two months ago Mike gave me some white powder and told me to snort it. He said it would be awesome. He was right, it was. Mike supplies me with my usual hit of crack cocaine. It gives you a great high, but it doesn't last too long, which can work to my advantage. It makes it easier for me to take some without my teammates noticing. I'm not a full out junky, spending hours doing whatever powder or pills I'm given. I just need a little something now and then. It calms me down, makes me feel good. When I'm on crack I feel like I truly am happy, but that's probably because my senses are messed. At least it creates that hallucination for me.  
  
"Hey, Mamoru, buddy!" Mike swung an arm around my shoulder, guiding me in. I don't use my real name (well, technically 'Mamoru' is my real name, but I go by 'Omi' now) with this crowd of people (you know, drug dealers and stuff).  
  
There were two women lazing on his couch. The one smoking the cigarette reminded me of Youji, smirking and looking lazy and a little drunk, though I don't think Youji smokes weed (not often, anyway). I pushed Mike's arm off of me.  
  
"You got my stuff? You said Damien would have it for me by now." I asked impatiently, as he took a seat between the two revealingly-dressed women. Seriously, how short do they make skirts these days? Why bother wearing anything it all? It was obvious neither of them were going to be dressed much longer. Mike probably got tired of having women reject him all of the time, so he hired these girls for some fun tonight. Nasty. I remember a teacher of mine saying 'girls always wear clothes two size too small and boys always wear clothes two sizes too big'. These people were perfect examples of that.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get so pissy. Sorry, but I don't have it on me. Damien doesn't trust me with his money anymore. I 'borrow' a couple hundred dollars and all of the sudden I'm untrustworthy," I snort. Mike has always been untrustworthy. His brother must be a real moron to have not noticed sooner. "Anyway, he has your stuff, but wants you to give him his money in person. He usually hangs at the club around the corner..." Mike stopped for a moment, trying to recall the name. The drug was obviously affecting what little mind-power he had.  
  
"Yeah, I know the one. Have fun." I said leaving.  
  
I am let into the club and immediately start searching for Damien. Bright neon lights flash as music blares. Bodies are provocatively pushing up against each other on the dance floor. I scan the room, seeing Damien sat at a table with a few other people in a dark corner, farther away from the others in the club. I push my way past sweating bodies.  
  
"Damien. Mike told me to come see you." I say, stepping up to the table. He nods.  
  
"Got my money?" He asks. I take the wad out of my pocket and drop it on the table. He pulls a little baggy filled with white powder out of his pocket and gives it to me. "Nice doing business with you." He smirks.  
  
After getting what I came for I go home, smiling and cheerful as usual.

**To Be Continued**   
  
**Author's Note:** I told you this one would be longer. ;) Ooo, I made Omi a crack-head. In the next chapter the plot should pick up a bit. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, keep 'em coming.


	3. Darkness Consumes

**Tainted White  
-Darkness Consumes-   
By: Lil' Amethyst Angel**  
  
**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack?  
  
**Warnings:** Violence, swearing, OOC (dark Omi), and angst.  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
It's been a few days since my little business venture with Damien. When I got back I found Manx waiting with a mission. That means I got to spend the last few days doing research. Yay for me. I have finally found the place the kidnap victims are being hidden. The rest of Weiss is expecting this mission to put me on edge. It doesn't really bother me. The past is the past. I guess I should probably act a little more upset by the mission tape. I mustn't let my little façade slip, after all. I can't overdue it, though. Even I think I have been acting a little too emotional at times. I got to cut back on the water works. We leave tonight to assassinate our target.  
  
I'm ready in my gear and join the others in the car. We drive to some abandoned warehouse (very original) and get into our positions.  
  
"Target is in position. He's all yours, Abyssinian." I confirm over the headset. I look down, out of the vent at the target. It's only then that I realize the target is smirking at someone. Oh shit, there's a kid in there. It's too late. Aya has kicked in the door and stabbed the unsuspecting target. The kid looks up, stunned, at Aya. Oh, great, a witness who has gotten a good look at one of the Weiss members. Aya looks down at the trembling boy with wide eyes. We're not supposed to have witnesses. If we do, they are to be killed and Aya knows that. "Abyssinian, eliminate him." I tell him in a cold voice. Abyssinian doesn't move.  
  
"Bombay, he's just a kid. He-"  
  
"Abyssinian!" I harshly cut him off. "You know the rules. He saw your face. He knows what you look like and can point you out." A witness is un- needed and un-welcomed trouble.  
  
"Bombay, no. He won't remember me. I'm not going to kill a little kid. We are here to save him. He's the victim." I knew Ken and Youji were listening over the headsets. I was going to have to let this slip if I wanted to seem like the caring Omi they all knew.  
  
"Fine," I snap, watching Aya walk out. As I watch the kid slump down in relief I jump out of the vent and stand in front of him, staring at him. I can see him visibly tense. No, I won't kill you. As I watch the boy stare up at me with pleading eyes I start to think of a particular kill from my past...  
  
I was fifteen and not yet a part of Weiss. I was on a solo mission. Some big, powerful businessman was kidnapping children and selling them to willing buyers. It was a mission similar to the one Weiss and I were on now. Once in position, behind a door linking to another room I waited for the target to enter his office. When he came through the door I quickly jumped into action, shooting him with my crossbow. He died instantly. I only, then, after hearing a whimper from the corner of the room, realized a little girl was there, tied up. She must have been the latest victim. I stared at her a moment. Her eyes were a pale blue. Fear and pain were clearly reflected in them. She was so young, so innocent. I knew I had to kill her. Kritiker trained me to not tolerate witnesses. I slowly raised my crossbow once again and shot her. A single tear spilled out of her eye as she died.  
  
Staring into the blank eyes of the child I became aware that I was scared. What scared me was that I didn't feel anything when I did that. No guilt, no regret, no sadness. Nothing. It was then that I realized what I had truly become.  
  
My thoughts are interrupted by Youji's voice talking over the headset, "Bombay, a guard is on his way. We're holding off the other ones." It was too late. I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my side. I turn around only to find a guard with a gun in his hand. He fucking shot me! Needless to say, I am kind of shocked.  
  
"Damn." I hiss is pain. Before I have time to react Aya's sword is through the man, allowing blood to freely gush out.  
  
"Are you alright?" Aya asks in his usual cold tone. I lift up my shirt and examine the wound.  
  
"It's not bad. The bullet just grazed me. The bleeding should stop soon. We should get out of here." I gave him a half smile. Aya nodded in agreement.  
  
When we reached the car Ken and Youji were there waiting, looking slightly worried.  
  
"Omi, are you okay?" Ken asks me. I nod, giving him a little smile.  
  
"I'll be fine. I think it's already stopped bleeding." Ken smiles in reply and the others start to pile into the car.  
  
"Umm...guys, I was going to go for a walk to clear my head. We're not too far from the shop." Ken and Youji smile at me sympathetically. I'm sure they believe I need some time to get over the mission (with the kidnapping and all).  
  
"Are you sure, bishonen? You are hurt, after all." Youji asks. I just nod and smile in reply. Youji closes the car door, shaking his head.  
  
As the car drives off my mind wanders back to the girl I killed. A while later I see the sun beginning to rise. I must have been out here longer than I thought. I suddenly feel light-headed. I look down and see I am leaving a trail of blood behind me. The wound hasn't stopped bleeding. Oh, crap. Soon everything begins to go dark and I slip into unconsciousness.  
  
**To Be Continued**   
  
**Author's Note:** Dun dun dun! What will happen to our beloved Omi? Hope you all liked this chapter. Please continue to review, I really appreciate it. 


	4. An Angel in Hell

**Tainted White  
- An Angel in Hell -  
By: Lil' Amethyst Angel**  
  
**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack?  
  
**Warnings:** Angst, swearing, and OOC (dark Omi).  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
When I wake up I feel a soft surface beneath me. I don't bother to open my eyes. I'm too tired. I stay in the darkness, thoughts wandering, until I feel a cool hand on my forehead. My eyes shoot open. I am greeted with the sight of an angel. I was sure it was an angel. A young boy with golden hair and laughing blue eyes was staring down at me. For a moment I thought I had died. But that couldn't be right. There would be no angels where I was going.  
  
"So, you're awake. How do you feel?" The voice was soft and melodious.  
  
I sit up and take in my surroundings. I'm in an apartment, presumably this boy's. I'm on the couch, which is quite comfy I might add. It was as clean as Aya's room, not a spot of dust. Yet, it is very different from Aya's room. It gives off a warm, inviting aura and there are pictures everywhere.  
  
"I'm fine, thanks. Where am I and who are you?" I ask, trying not to sound too rude.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Aki and you're at my apartment. When I went out for a jog this morning I found you passed out on the street. You were bleeding, so I took you back here to fix you up." He smiles cheerfully.  
  
"Well, thank you. My name is Omi." He takes my hand and gently shakes it.  
  
"I thought you might be thirsty, so I made some tea. I'll go and get you some."  
  
This kid, Aki, seems pretty naïve. Wasn't he worried that I could be a serial killer or a deranged psychopath (well...maybe I am kind of the last one...)? Most people wouldn't go taking in someone off the street. He comes back into the room carrying two mugs of steaming tea.  
  
"Here ya go." He handed me the mug and sat down in a chair across from me. "I hope you don't mind, but you didn't look like you were in that good of shape. I was afraid your wound was going to get infected, so I cleaned it out and bandaged it."  
  
I smiled my thanks. "I'm very sorry for being such a burden. When I was out for a walk yesterday I slipped and fell on some glass. I was on my way home when I passed out." That lie sounded plausible. He just smiled, seemingly accepting the answer.  
  
"Don't worry, you weren't a burden. I'm really glad I got to meet you." He smiles sweetly, again. He doesn't even know me. This kid is too much.  
  
"Well, I should be going now. I'm sure my friends are worried. Thank you for your hospitality." I get up and head towards the door.  
  
"Don't mention it. It was nice meeting you. I hope we meet again one day." Aki waves and flashes me one of his winning grins.  
  
Once I'm out of the apartment I break into a run. The guys are gonna be so pissed. I arrive at the shop and go through the back door. It will be opening soon and I have first shift. I don't see the others around, so I quickly run up to my room and get changed out of my mission gear. I'm surprised that kid never noticed my darts. Luckily, I didn't bring my crossbow on the mission, since I didn't have to take out the target. When I go back downstairs I see Ken opening the shop.  
  
"Good morning, Ken." I say sweetly. I was careless passing out like that. I hope Ken is not too mad. I don't really care, but it's awfully annoying.  
  
"Omi, we were worried! Where were you?" Ken exclaims.  
  
"Sorry, Ken-kun. I didn't realize I was still bleeding and passed out on the way home. This kid, Aki, brought me to his place and fixed me up. I'm okay now. Sorry for worrying you all." Ken seemed to accept that and just rustled my hair, shaking his head and mumbling something about being careful.  
  
The rest of the morning was rather uneventful. I was working on some arrangements in the back room, while Ken handled the customers. There weren't too many girls flocking around the shop today.  
  
Aki... I wonder if I'll ever see him again. He was a cute kid. Way too naïve for his own good, though. He was pure white. The opposite of me. I remember being like him at one time. It was so long ago...That purity, I want to protect it. I don't want him to be touched by other colors, his innocence spoiled. Wait, what am I thinking? I don't care about him. I look out for me and only me. I have to concentrate on my own survival.  
  
I finish up the last arrangement and go join Ken in the shop. It seems the crowd of crazed girls has grown considerably. Oh, joy. I plaster that same smile on my face. The one they can never see through, that they think is real. Here comes happy little Omi. Twits. I take a seat at the cash register as Ken goes over to help some girls find a certain flower. I scan the room of fawning girls. The shop door opens, but instead of more love- struck girls waltzing in, a beautiful angel appears. Aki?  
  
I blush, realizing I just thought of him as an angel again. It was Aki alright. The shop quieted a bit. It's not every day a boy comes in here. He notices me staring and recognition lights up his face. "Omiiii!" He calls, flying towards me and giving me a hug. What the hell? I'm being attacked! Someone do something! He's crazy! Ken, don't just stand there gawking, get this nutcase off of me.  
  
"Eh...umm...Aki?" I look down at the boy in my arms.  
  
He pulls away immediately. "Oh, sorry. I tend to hug people a lot. It's just out of habit. I guess you could say I'm the type to go around glomping strangers on the street. Hehe. Sorry 'bout that. I'm not crazy, really I'm not." It's like he read my mind. Or maybe he just saw the stares everyone in the shop was giving us.  
  
"I was just excited to see you. I knew we would meet again," He pauses. "How are you feeling? I didn't hurt your injury did I?" I'm surprised to see the worry in his eyes. This kid doesn't even know me and yet he is worried about me.  
  
"No, I'm fine. Did you come here to buy specific flowers? Can I help you with something?" Aki nodded his head vigorously.  
  
"I was really hoping to buy some freesias. They're the most beautiful flower in my opinion." I can hear Ken snigger over by a flower display, obviously listening to our conversation.  
  
"I'll go and get you some. Wait right here, please." I hurry through the shop to where the freesias are and choose a pot of them. "Here you go." He hands me the money.  
  
"Hey, Omi, do you want to get together sometime? I love to make new friends." Aki looks and sounds like a four-year-old at the moment, smiling widely and rocking back and forth on his feet, clutching the freesias.  
  
"Umm..." He looks up at me, smile disappearing. If I say no I'm afraid he will burst into tears or something. I give up. "Sure. How about for lunch? Are you free today?"  
  
Aki's face lights up. "Yup! What time do you get off?" I look at my watch.  
  
"Ten minutes. Would you like to wait here?" He nods as I continue to work on an arrangement. After a while I realize Aki is staring at me dreamily. He notices that I have stopped and am looking at him.  
  
A red tint colors his cheeks. "Sorry for staring. You look very calm and beautiful when you do that. It takes a special kind of person to be able to see and arrange such beauty. You are very delicate with the flowers."  
  
Against my own wishes I blush. What is this kid doing to me?  
  
"Hey, Omi. Your shift is over." Youji calls. He's late again, my shift ended fifteen minutes ago, but I'll let it slide.  
  
"Okay, thanks, Youji. I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back later." I say.  
  
Aki and I went to a little café across the street for lunch. He is so open with his emotions. He is the total opposite of me.  
  
"Thanks again for last night. I hope your parents didn't mind you bringing a stranger home." I say while he scans the menu. He looks up for a moment.  
  
"Actually, my parents died when I was little in an accident. I live with my aunt, but she's usually away on business. I don't think she would have minded, anyways." Aki informs me, his cheerfulness never faltering.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say. He doesn't seem upset by the whole thing. I don't know how Aki can talk about it so casually.  
  
"I guess it was just their time. People think it's odd that I didn't spend more time crying about it. I just decided that now I have to live life for all three of us, so there isn't time to be sad." That's an interesting way to look at it. I still don't understand why he is telling _me_ all of this. We only just met.  
  
"You know, I'm not stupid. I know what you must be thinking. I brought a complete stranger home, for all I knew you could have been some criminal. And now I am talking to you causally about my past, as if we're close friends." He shrugged. "I just felt like you were special. It's like we have some kind of connection or something. You seem different from other people I've met. I want to get to know you. Is that okay?" Aki looks up at me once more.  
  
I honestly do not know how to respond to that. It's like he's in my head. Aki knows everything I was thinking. If I didn't know better I would say he was related to the Mastermind of Schwarz. "Ugh...that's fine. Like you said before, it's always nice to make new friends."  
  
Aki simply beams. "Tell me something about yourself, Omi."  
  
What's to tell? I work in a flower shop by day and murder by night? My childhood was cut short when I was kidnapped and saved by my uncle who turned me into a killer? I somehow don't think that would go over too well with the kid here.  
  
"I'm eighteen and as you already know I work in a flower shop. I actually live above it with my three friends: Youji, Aya, and Ken. What about you?" A look of concentration appears on his face as he thinks of what to tell me. He taps his finger on his chin. It's actually kind of adorable... what the hell am I thinking? Bad thoughts. Bad. There is no way I'm letting myself get attached to Aki. I stop scolding myself when he finally speaks.  
  
"Well, I just turned 17 two months ago. As you already know I live with my aunt and love freesias. Oh, and I have a little Bombay kitten, who is super cute. His name is Blacky...I'm not too original when it comes to names." I almost choked on my water. First freesias and now Bombay kittens. Is this some kind of messed up joke?  
  
Just then the waitress brought us our lunch. The rest of our meeting was rather uneventful. Aki told me more about his beloved Blacky and I told him a bit about flowers. As we were leaving the shop to go our separate ways Aki stops me.  
  
"We should do this again, Omi. I know where to find you, but if you ever want to get a hold of me here is my number." Aki pulls a piece of paper and pen out of his pocket and scribbles something down. "Bye-bye, Omi!" With that the blond angel left. Okay, I seriously have to stop thinking of him as an angel.  
  
**To Be Continued**  
  
**Author's Note:** I finally added my original character, Aki. I had fun making him up. Thank you to all who have read, please continue reviewing. 


	5. Crimson Drops

**Tainted White**

**- Crimson Drops -**

**By:** **Lil' Amethyst Angel**  
  
**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack? Will someone be there to pick up the pieces?  
  
**Warnings:** OOC (dark Omi), angst, swearing, self mutilation (cutting), and drugs.  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
In the two weeks since I have met Aki I have met with him five times, not counting our first encounter. I'll admit that he is interesting. One minute he playing around, having fun like a five-year-old and the next he holds a look of wise perception. Sometimes he seems to be able to get into my head so well it scares me. Right now, we are taking a walk through the park, down the street from the flower shop. Last night Weiss had another mission. I am tired and annoyed since some bastard hit me on the head with a friggin' vase and gave me a large bump. Why a _vase_, of all things? Still, I smile my largest fake smile and try to listen intently to Aki. I think he is talking about something to do with school. He suddenly stops.  
  
"Omi..." He pauses looking at me as if scrutinizing me. I just continue to smile in response. "You know, you don't have to smile when you're not happy." I immediately stop smiling. I look at him with a shocked expression.  
  
"What do you mean?" I quickly slip my smile back on.  
  
"I've noticed your smiles...they're so cold. They are very rarely real. It's like...like you're hiding behind fake cheerfulness. I want to know the _real _you, Omi." I can't help gaping at him. This is not right. He can see through me. He knows I'm lying. How can he see through my mask when no one else can? Not even Weiss could see. They never suspect anything. No. He can't know the real me. That would make me vulnerable. No. I won't be vulnerable.  
  
"I don't know what you mean. My smiles are real." I continued to smile, but my voice was cold, warning him to back down. He sighed.  
  
"Sorry, I guess I was wrong." Aki, thankfully, didn't bring it up for the rest of our walk.  
  
That night I am up in my room alone. The fact that Aki could see through my smile seriously disturbed me. My fingers begin to twitch and I know what I want. It's been a while since I last have. But I need it now. I go over to my closet and pull out a small dagger. The good thing about working at Kritiker is that I have access to weapons of my choice. I never bring this dagger on mission, though. This is mine. The only blood that touches this dagger will be my own.  
  
I hold the blade in my right hand and roll up the sleeve on my left arm. I lightly trail the cold metal along my arm, shivering as I do so. Youji is out on a date, Aya is up in his room for the night, and Ken has fallen asleep watching a soccer game on television downstairs. No one will interrupt me. I smile to myself. Not the same smile I show to everyone else, but a grim, crazed grin. I slowly plunge the blade into my arm, staring in contentment as blood leaks out of my arm. The stinging pain calms me down. Aki, he is starting to affect me. He is white, the only color that can affect me. I can't let him. I can't loose control. No one else will have control over me. I start to whisper to myself over and over again, "I have complete control. I have complete control. I have complete control..."  
  
I am careful not to go to deep, so as not to leave scars. I'm used to it now. I know how deep I should go. I started cutting when I was ten years old. I felt like I had no control over my life. I was becoming something terrifying. I was becoming a killer. Did Kritiker never think what that would do to a kid? No, they just didn't care. When I could inflict pain on myself I could control it. Only me. I made me feel strong. Soon I grew to need it. It's more addictive than the crack I take. If I had to choose I would choose my knife.  
  
I wipe off the dagger and out it back into my closet, tucked away. I go to the bathroom and wash off the cut, putting a bandage onto it. I'll wear a long sleeved shirt tomorrow and no one will notice. Youji already thinks I have a weird fashion sense. It's Autumn, so I don't think anyone will find it odd that I am wearing long sleeves.  
  
The next morning I have first shift. All of the squealing of the noisy girls is giving me a headache. Just smile. As long as I smile everything will be fine. Aki's voice kept echoing through my throbbing head. "I've noticed your smiles...they're so cold. They are very rarely real. It's like...like you're hiding behind fake cheerfulness."Fuck. I need to cut. Now. I notice my hand has started to tap the side of my legs. I stop them and try to keep them still. My shift is almost over and I am going over to Aki's after. I don't really want to go, but if I break off all contact now he will get suspicious. I can't let him know that he affected me. He shouldn't be affecting me this way to begin with.  
  
"Omi, I'll take over now." Youji's suave voice snaps me out of my trance.  
  
"Okay, thanks, Youji. I'm going over to Aki's. I'll see you later." I am stopped by Youji slinging an arm over my shoulder.  
  
"Y'know, Omi, a lot of people are starting to think that this Aki is your _boyfriend_." I gave an indignant snort. "Are you saying they are wrong? All of the girls and, not to mention Kenken, saw how affectionate you two are. He's constantly hugging you."  
  
"Youji! That's ridiculous. He's just a touchy-feely kinda person. We are _not _going out." I push Youji's arm off of me and continue to exit the shop.  
  
When I arrive at Aki's apartment he throws his arms around me and pulls me in for a warm hug. Okay...so maybe this wasn't exactly normal. I guess we do kind of hug a lot. Aki pulls me into the apartment.  
  
"I need you're help! I just baked these chocolate fudge brownies, but I don't know if I put in too much sugar. You have to taste them for me." Aki shoved a plate of brownies in my face. I wonder how many of these he has already tasted. He seems more hyper than usual. I take one off the plate.  
  
"These are really good, Aki." An adorable pout graces his face.  
  
"But not as good as yours. You are such a great cook, Omi-kun!" He puts down the plate and takes a seat on the couch. There is a brief silence and my mind starts to drift back to yesterday. "I've noticed your smiles...they're so cold. They are very rarely real. It's like...like you're hiding behind fake cheerfulness."I can feel my cut start to dully throb. I need to cut. No, I can't think about that.  
  
Blacky swiftly comes into the room. He purrs and circles my leg. The cat has grown fond of me. What can I say? I seem to have a connection with it. It's a small, black kitten with beady eyes that reflect innocence and adoration. I guess not all things black are corrupted.  
  
I hear Aki gently chuckle. "He reminds me of you. When I first found him he was in such poor condition and looked so lost. His eyes were what drew me. They were full of pain, but there was a lingering innocence. Your eyes are the same." He stated nonchalantly.  
  
My head snapped up to look from the kitten to Aki. He was sitting comfortably on the couch tugging a piece of string in front of the kitten. He was wrong, though. There is no innocence left in me. Yet, he still saw more of me than any other. I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to cut. I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Umm, I'll be right back. I just need to use your bathroom." With that said I hurried down the hall to the washroom. After locking the door I pulled a safety pin out of my pocket. It was small, easy to carry around, didn't leave a scar, but could still draw blood. That was all I need. A little pain. Just a little cut. I dug it into my arm, across the deeper cut I made yesterday. Droplets of red fell into the sink. I could feel myself becoming calm and in control. I was in control. Me.  
  
I washed out the sink and left the washroom.  
  
After about an hour Aki and I were playing with Blacky, while sitting on the floor. I was dangling the string Aki had before. Suddenly he grabs my left hand and stares at it. I realize, too late, that crimson has started to color my shirt. Shit. My cut had stopped bleeding a little while ago, but not before it leaked through the bandage to my shirt. I wore a pale shirt. What was I thinking? And Aki, being as observant as ever, saw it.  
  
"Omi, you're bleeding." Before I have time to react he pulls up my sleeve, gently removing the bandage. Seeing the large gash he gasps.  
  
"I accidentally cut myself cooking, yesterday. It's not as bad as it looks." I curse myself for not being able to come up with a better lie.  
  
He searches my face for a moment. "You're lying. I can tell. You can't hide anything from me. I can see it all in your eyes. Omi, did you do that to yourself? Do you...cut yourself?" I don't understand. I've always been able to lie to people, all of my life. My whole friggin' life is one big lie. No one has ever noticed. No one is supposed to notice. He's staring at me. What do I say? I can't lie.  
  
"Please...Omi, don't hurt yourself." That gentle voice. I feel like time has frozen and I let out a breath I just now realize I have been holding.  
  
"I-I have to go." I run out of the apartment and home to the Koneko never looking back.  
  
When I arrived home I entered as quietly as possible and crept into my room, locking the door. I have to calm down. I go to my closet and pull out my beloved blade. I hold it above my arm, tracing the ribbons of red I created yesterday and today. As I go to thrust it into my arm I stop. I want to. I want to cut so badly. I need this. Yet, I can't bring myself to inflict any harm on my already damaged arm. Aki's soft plea sounds through my head, "Please...Omi, don't hurt yourself". My body won't move, though my mind is screaming for me to cut. I can't...  
  
I put my dagger away. I didn't realize Aki's influence on me was so strong. I go over to my mirror, reach behind it and pull out a little packet of powder. At least I have this.  
  
**To Be Continued  
**  
**Author's Note:** I'm kind of unsure about how this chapter will come off, so tell me what you think.


	6. Innocence Lost

**Tainted White  
- Innocence Lost -   
By: Li'l Amethyst Angel  
  
Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack? Will someone be there to pick up the pieces?  
  
**Warnings:** OOC (dark Omi), angst, swearing, self mutilation (cutting), shounen-ai and drugs.  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
It's been a week since Aki found out about my cutting. He hasn't come by the Koneko or called. I haven't felt like trying to make any contact with him, either. Ken noticed our sudden lack of visits and calls. When he questioned me about it I told him we had gotten into a fight. Ken didn't push me to say anything more.  
  
I stare at the computer screen, scanning my history paper for any errors. I hear a knock at the door.  
  
"Come in." I call, moving my attention to the person now standing in my room. Aki. One of the guys must have let him in.  
  
"Hi, Omi." I nod in reply. "Look, I wanted to apologize for before. I shouldn't have made assumptions or gotten involved in your business. I just didn't want you to hurt yourself..." He trails off. I don't reply, not really knowing what to say.  
  
"You know, if you were having problems you could have come and talked to me. I would have listened and tried to help you." I snort. Would you have comforted me while I tell you about all of the people I killed? Would you try to get me to stop cutting or doing drugs, knowing how much I need it? Or would you be scared away? Somehow, I think the latter in most likely.  
  
He kneels down in front of me and takes my left hand. He slowly moves up my sleeve and tenderly strokes my arm, being careful not to hurt me.  
  
"Why did you do this?" His voice is barely a whisper. I knew I had to answer, but what could I say?  
  
"I-I can't. You w-won't understand. You..." I was stupidly stuttering, unable to come up with an intelligible answer. I am broken and am unable to be put back together. "It's okay. If you don't want to or can't tell me, that's fine. Just please don't hurt yourself anymore, Omi. Please?" He raises his eyes to meet mine. They're so warm and full of something that I can't quite place...love?  
  
My mouth is suddenly dry. I can't get any words out. I weakly nod, unable to object to his request. He smiles such a kind, captivating smile that I can't help but smile back. I'm feeling strangely. What is this feeling? He starts to move his head towards mine. This feeling...it's pleasant. Our lips slowly brush against each other and I feel my eyes slip shut. He tastes so sweet, so pure. His brilliant whiteness is affecting my darkness, but that's okay. I will allow him to affect me. Only him.  
  
I feel him pull away from the chaste kiss. "Omi, let me protect you from anything that will hurt you...even yourself." Again, all I can do is nod.  
  
In return, I promise to always protect your innocence. I will always protect you, Aki. I don't dare say any of this aloud, but I think he knows anyway.  
  
I feel strong arms fold around me. Aki's warm breath touches my cheek and I start to feel something I don't remember ever feeling before, happiness.  
  
"Well, I should get going. I'll see you later, Omi." Aki stood up and with one last smile leaves.  
  
Over the month Aki and I grew closer and closer. He would hang around the Koneko even more often than usual. When I wasn't at school, in the shop, or on a mission, Aki and I would go out. We would usually just go for walks at the park, as I learned that is something he loves to do. Needless to say this fueled more teasing from Youji and even some questioning looks from Ken. I hadn't told them that Aki and I were a couple and had no intention of doing so. Aki is my weakness and I'm not going to openly tell people my weaknesses.  
  
I believe I have truly fallen in love with Aki. That's something I never thought I would do. I didn't think I knew how to love, that I was incapable of doing so. I guess I was wrong. It makes me wonder what else I am wrong about. Aki is always so affectionate, holding hands, hugging, and basically snuggling. I'm still getting used to that. I feel I can trust him. The only person I would ever think to trust is Aki. That's another thing I was sure I would never do.  
  
I hadn't cut for a while since Aki asked me not to. After a while it was getting to be too much for even me to bear. I was having trouble sleeping and becoming on edge during the days. Hell, it made me look like an addict. Well, I guess I am, but I don't like to advertise it. Then, I just couldn't hold out any longer. Even though my brain kept telling me to stop, my body wouldn't listen. It felt so good to make that string of red appear on my flesh, yet it also felt horrible. I felt bad for betraying Aki in that way. I don't like to dwell on that. I haven't been cutting my wrists though, realizing just how observant Aki can be. I cut my thighs, and once my upper arm. Even so, I have been trying not to cut. If I get the urge I do something else. Of course, that something else is probably just as bad. I replace one addiction with another, taking more drugs than before to compensate.  
  
The consequence of this is, of course, a shortage of money on my part. Though, it's not hard for me to get quick cash when I really need it. All I have to do is some hacking in the bank's files. Sure, it's illegal, but when has that ever stopped me?  
  
Weiss has been given a mission, which we will be carrying out tonight. Some sick scientist has been experimenting on humans. Nothing new there. After a few late nights of research on my part the location of his two labs were found. Midnight tonight we head to the first lab to kill the scientist. If he's not there, tomorrow we will try the second.  
  
It just happens that I've been needing a hit really badly lately and was supposed to meet Damien today at eleven. I'm going to have to go straight from the club where I'm meeting him to the lab for the mission. It's just past ten, now. I go into my closet and pull out my mission clothes. I stop when I realize my shorts may reveal some of my self-inflicted injuries. I opt for a pair of black pants instead. All the other guys wear pants anyway. I'll just say it was too cold to wear shorts tonight. Quickly pulling on my mission gear a grab some darts, hiding them in my jacket. I place me crossbow and more darts in a black backpack, which I sling over my shoulder as I head out the door.  
  
I tell the guys I have something to do quickly for Kritiker. They know I am sometimes given little 'jobs' to do for the organization, so they don't question it. I ask eventually talk Ken into letting me borrow his bike and tell the rest of Weiss that I will meat them at the lab at midnight. With that, I'm out the door.  
  
Damien is hanging at a different club tonight. If he stuck around one club too long the cops were sure to bust him eventually. When I arrived at the club it takes me a while to find Damien. He really can blend in well. I see him at one of the tables making out with some bimbo. When he notices me coming over to him he smirks.  
  
"Happy to see me?" I ask sarcastically. He ignores the comment, handing the girl a bill and telling her to go and get him a drink, as I take a seat across from Damien. Once she leaves I pull an envelope out of my pocket and hand it to him. After he peeks inside he slips me an envelope in return. Inside is the powder I came here craving. We have to be more conspicuous here than in the other clubs, since the owner doesn't stand for this stuff. He won't call the cops, but will beat the crap out of any scum that will bring that stuff to his bar. The girl returns with a drink for herself and Damien.  
  
As I'm about to leave Damien speaks, "You're friends with Mikey, right?" I wouldn't call us friends, more like acquaintances, but I nod all the same.  
  
"He won't be around for a while. Got himself arrested." Damien informs me.  
  
"What'd he do?" I ask.  
  
"He got high and mistook a cop for a blueberry. Let's just say bad things happened." Damien replied shortly. I let out a snort. The sad thing is I'm not surprised. Shaking my head, I stand up.  
  
"See ya soon, Mamoru." Damien sneers. I nod my reply and leave for the mission.  
  
I arrive at the lab shortly after Youji, Ken, and Aya, who took Youji's car. I park Ken's bike and take me weapons out of the backpack.  
  
"Changing your style?" Youji asks, eyeing the pants.  
  
"Just cold." I reply nonchalantly.  
  
"Let's go." Aya prompts us. Aya and Youji head off to a side door rarely used, which should have few or no guards stationed there. Ken and I make our way up to the roof, climbing the side of the wall using a cable we slung to the roof. Once we reached our destination we hurried down the stairs leading from the roof to one of the many halls, making sure to be cautious the whole time. We are finally in position, down the hall from the room the target should be experimenting in. Youji and Aya are taking him out. We're on look-out in case any trouble should arise. I find my mind wandering to the substance in my pocket. If I were too loose it while fighting off some goon I would be pretty pissed.  
  
There aren't any guards or security systems. This mission seems easy. Too easy. There should have been some kind of protection. Maybe we are just lucky for once, the target being too stupid to even hire security, though I highly doubt that.  
  
"Ah, Kitten, you know nothing is ever easy." A venomous voice spoke from behind me. I whirled around to find Schuldig stepping out from behind a corner. I hear Ken growl, but he doesn't move, waiting for the other members of Schwarz to show themselves.  
  
I realize Mastermind has just commented to one of my thoughts and quickly put up my mental shields. Yes, I know how to put up barriers in my mind to keep people like Mastermind out of my head. Kritiker expected their agents to encounter such people as those in Schwarz and couldn't have them finding out our information. It took me years, but I have developed a strong mental barrier against telekinetic abilities. Still, it takes quite a bit of energy and so I don't put it up when I don't have to. Though, I always keep up a shield, albeit a rather week one. That week shield only blocks off my deep thoughts, but my surface thoughts are still reachable. I wonder, now, how much Schuldig has gotten from my mind.  
  
"It doesn't matter that you put up your shields now. I've already found out something very interesting." The redheaded German smirks. Schuldig, then, turns to Ken who is looking back and forth between either end of the hallway for the rest of our rivaling group. Aya and Youji suddenly burst through the doors behind us, having assumedly completed the mission. They stop dead in their tracks when they see Mastermind. All three are now on guard, waiting for the rest of Schwarz to pop up.  
  
"Now, calm down, kitties. My teammates aren't here." I guess that means Weiss will be going out again tomorrow night, this time to the other lab I located. "I was just out for a walk in the neighborhood when I picked up on some deliciously dark thoughts. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was coming from the little Weiss pet, Bombay. I don't get to play around in your head often. You have some strong shields." Mastermind says, now referring only to me.  
  
"Why, thank you." I reply sarcastically. "Though, I must say, I don't appreciate someone fucking around in my head." I snap bitterly, a little on edge from the fact that Mastermind may tell the rest of Weiss some of my well-hidden thoughts. After all my hard work perfecting it, Schuldig will not tear my mask off now. I realize my slip-up of language and quickly take control over my nerves.  
  
"What do you want, Schwarz?" Aya hisses, fed up with the idle chat.  
  
"Simply to stop by and say hello." Mastermind grins maliciously.  
  
"Well, hello to you too. Now, I suggest you get out of our way, you sadistic bastard." Youji starts to get his wire ready in case Mastermind doesn't take the hint.  
  
"Oh, how you wound me." The German dramatically puts a hand over his heart, or where it should be. "Well, I may be sadistic, but at least I'm not a masochist, eh, Omi?" I see the other members of Weiss look at me in confusion.  
  
"Shut up!" I bite out. I know, now, that he did indeed get a good glimpse at my thoughts. How much he knows he still has yet to reveal.  
  
"No, I don't think I will." The redhead replies lazily. In a sudden movement Schuldig is in my face and I feel him reach into my pocket, stepping back again before any of us have time to blink. "Well, well, well. What is this? Drugs? Tsk tsk. These aren't good for you." He taunts, waving the little package, after taking it out of the envelope. I glare at him, daring him to continue. "Where is that dagger of yours when you need it, hm? Oh, but you don't use that to cut up others, only yourself, right?" I hear Ken gasp and Youji's eyes widen considerably. I snap.  
  
**To Be Continued**  
  
**Author's Note:** Thank you L'Ananda for reviewing chapter 5. Please continue to review, everyone!! 


	7. Truths Revealed

**Tainted White  
- Truths Revealed -   
By: Li'l Amethyst Angel  
  
Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack? Will someone be there to pick up the pieces?  
  
**Warnings:** OOC (dark Omi), angst, violence, swearing, mentions of self mutilation (cutting), shounen-ai and mentions of drugs.

**Omi's POV**  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" I growl throwing darts, which become imbedded in the wall as Schuldig quickly moves away. I lunge for him, catching him off guard, and knock him to the floor. I brutally punch him in the face, repeatedly. I see blood start to trickle out of his noise and I manage to split his lip, causing crimson to trail down his chin. The rest of Weiss just stands by and watches in shock. They've never really seen me in hand- to-hand combat. Schuldig seems to recover from the surprise of having me jump him and kicks me off of him. He stands up smirking, once more. He got a reaction out of me, which is exactly what he wanted, but at this particular moment I don't really care that I gave him what he wished. It felt good to beat the crap out of the cocky redhead. There have been few times when Weiss could get close enough to do some damage to him. Schuldig wipes the blood off of his chin with the back of his sleeve, still displaying his maniacal grin.  
  
"Aw, is kitty in a bad mood? I guess I'll take my leave, then. Bu-bye." With that the German disappears in a blur. Weiss doesn't bother to go after him. I collect my darts from the wall and we leave.  
  
The car ride home is silent, questions running through everyone's mind. I can tell they believed Mastermind, after all he did give them proof, showing them my drugs. Ken is riding his bike home. I sigh, looking out the car window at the passing shadows. It's pretty late.  
  
I think back to the encounter with the fiery redhead. I was recently thinking of the drugs, so I know it was on the surface of my mind. I'm not really surprised he knew, but I can't for the life of my figure out how he knew about the cutting. I always keep it buried in my mind on missions, knowing there's a chance Schwarz will show up. I don't want them knowing my deepest, darkest secrets. I always make sure my shields are up strong around it. I'm trained to sense when a telekinetic in sifting through my thoughts. I can always tell when someone is going through my deep thoughts. Why didn't I sense it this time. It doesn't make sense.  
  
When we arrive home I find that Ken has already gotten there. I'm about to dash up to the sanctuary of my room, when Aya stops me, grabbing my arm.  
  
"Is something wrong, Aya-kun?" I look up at him innocently and smile slightly.  
  
"Omi, I think we should talk." Youji says. I don't say anything, waiting for them to start.  
  
"Where did you get the drugs, Omi?" Aya is the one to voice the group's thoughts. I could lie. I could say that some punk at school gave it to me for me to try. I could still save my mask. My thoughts are interrupted by Ken.  
  
"Did your new friend, Aki, give them to you?" He asks softly, almost timidly.  
  
I freeze. How could Ken say that? Aki was everything good and pure. He was all white, not touched by anything. How could anyone ever associate Aki with the darkness that rules my life? I can't take the idiocy of the thought and snap.  
  
"No, my fucking drug dealer gave them to me." I bark dangerously. Well, that shut them up. Everyone in the room seems speechless.  
  
Youji is the first to speak, "Mastermind mentioned something about a dagger. Do you..." He trails off unwilling or unable to complete the question. I know I have lost my cover, my mask has finally shattered.  
  
"Cut? Yup, since I was ten." I say casually, as if stating how long I knew how to ride a bike. I hear Ken take a sharp intake of breath. Youji looks down, his blond tresses covering his face. Even the aloof Aya reacts, his eyes widening. I look around at my shocked and obviously distressed teammates.  
  
I scoff, "Do you really think I was a well-adjusted or happy kid? I was kidnapped, abandoned by my so-called father, and raised as a killer. I was murdering people well you were all still living out happy lives. Do you forget that I am the leader of Weiss? Don't you think there is a reason for that? I've been trained longer than all of you combined. I've killed more people than you can even imagine." I smirk. "All by the time I was eighteen. Being a teen is just so much fun." I finish my little rant and dash to my room before the others have time to even comprehend what I have just said.  
  
**Youji's POV**  
  
Fuck. I never knew the kid was so messed up. We all knew his past was screwed up, but it never seemed to affect him...besides the nightmares, that is. Now, I wonder if even those were all just an act. Omi did always have an eye for detail. I wouldn't put faking nightmares past his skill. He can be a whole other person, paying attention to every detail of that personality, making it seem so real there is no sign of the true Omi. Maybe I'm giving him too much credit. Maybe the rest of us just didn't look hard enough. Maybe we failed the kid.  
  
**Ken's POV**  
  
I am his best friend and I never noticed... or at least I thought I was his friend. Whenever I was doubting what we were doing or what I had become, Omi's smile always gave me courage, hope, and reassurance. The smile that did all that for me, was it all fake? My life has been full of lies. If Omi turns out to be another one of those lies I don't know what I'll do.  
  
Has he been hurting all this time? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have realized something. I should have been there for him. He never really came to me with any problems. That right there should have made me suspicious, but I never thought twice about it. I always just thought Omi was naturally happy and cheerful. How wrong I was. Do I even know Omi at all?  
  
**Aya's POV**  
  
Maybe Omi is more of a Takatori than we thought. No, I shouldn't think that. The kid is just messed up. Who can blame him? I haven't been with Weiss long, but I thought that I knew my teammates fairly well. They are all much more open than I am, and Omi always seemed to be the most open out of all three of them. I can't believe that he's even more closed off than myself.  
  
I shouldn't be that surprised. Omi has always been very good at under- cover missions. He seems to be able to play any part perfectly. I guess he was just playing a part around us, too.  
  
**Omi's POV**  
  
I hear feet thudding up the stairs and fists pounding on my locked door. I'm vaguely aware of voices calling my name and asking me to open the door. I don't pay an heed to the noises outside my door and open my window. A cold gust of wind rushes in, chilling me, even through my mission clothes. I hop out the window and soundlessly make my way down the sloping roof and jump off when it comes to an end. From there I run as fast as I can, never stopping or slowing, to the one place I know I will be safe from all others, the one place I can find comfort.  
  
I arrive at Aki's door and start knocking furiously. I hear a groggy voice call "just a minute" through the door before it opens. I see my angel standing there and, without thinking, fling myself at him. He freezes for a moment, but then ushers me in and shuts the door gently behind me. I don't know what's come over me. He guides me to the couch and we sit down. Aki puts his arms around me, rubbing my back, while asking what's wrong. I look up into worried eyes. I didn't know a tear had leaked out until I feel Aki gently wiping away something warm and wet from my cheek. I try to swallow and feel a lump in my throat. My eyes become increasingly damp. I can't cry. I haven't cried since I joined Kritiker. Assassins like me can't cry; we don't have the need or the right.  
  
"It's okay to cry." Aki cooed.  
  
Unable to hold back any longer, I burry my head in his shoulder and let the hot tears flow. I cry. I cry for real for the first time in years. The tears before were all for show, acting, part of the character I played. These tears are real. Now that I have finally broken down I cry for everything I couldn't before. For my lot innocence, for all the pain I had to endure, for being trained to lack emotions, for never knowing love until now, for my mask being ripped off and crushed.  
  
What feels likes an eternity later, I stop crying. I know I have to go back to the Koneko and face the guys, but I can't. I don't want to. Aki hasn't said anything besides a few comforting words to try to calm me down. I sit comfortably with his arms wrapped around me.  
  
"You know you're going to have to go back eventually. I'm sure they're worried." Aki says softly. I know who he means and I know he is right. They're worried, but to be honest I don't really care.  
  
"I know I have to go back, but that doesn't make it any easier." I haven't told Aki what happened and he doesn't ask, which I am grateful for.  
  
"I know, baby." Aki says, in his gently, caring tone. He rarely calls me 'baby'. Aki only calls me that during very serious moments when he's trying to comfort or reassure me. Even though Aki doesn't know me that well, he knows me better than anyone else.  
  
"Thanks for...this." I say, standing up, reluctantly untangling myself from his warm embrace. Aki smiles in return. I head out the door and slowly make my way back to the Koneko.  
  
**To Be Continued**  
  
**Author's Note:** Here is the next chapter after that cliff-hanger I left off on last time. How horrible of me to do that to you, ne? I've become attached to my original character, so I'm almost mad at myself for throwing in the little twist in the next chapter. Some heavy angst up ahead, so be warned. Please remember to keep reviewing!


	8. Unexpected Encounters

**Tainted White**

**- Unexpected Encounters - **

**By: Li'l Amethyst Angel**

**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack? Will someone be there to pick up the pieces?

**Warnings:** OOC (dark Omi), angst, violence, swearing, mentions of self mutilation (cutting), shounen-ai and mentions of drugs.

**Omi's POV**

The sun is just starting to come up as I arrive back at the Koneko. I quietly open the back door and start to make my way down the hall. I hope the others have gone to bed and I will be able to make it to my room and get to sleep without having to confront them. My hopes are quickly shattered as I hear a soft voice call out to me from the living room as I pass it. I turn to see a very weary-looking Ken.

"We've been really worried about you. Where did you run off to?" Ken asks.

"I went to a friend's." I answer gruffly, continuing on my way, only to be stopped when he moves to stand in front of me.

"Omi, we really need to talk."

"Not now, Ken." I brush him off.

"Yes, now. Omi, why didn't you ever come to talk to me if you were upset? Why did you do such things to yourself?" Honestly, how stupid could Ken be? I didn't talk to him because I didn't trust him. I did those things to myself because I wanted to. Does he think pissing me off now, when I'm irritable and tired, will improve the situation?

"Just leave me alone Ken." I said, my voice becoming dangerously low.

"I can't do that! If you keep this behavior up you are going to kill yourself! I can't, no, I **won't** let that happen." I should probably feel touched by his little outburst, but I only feel indifference.

"My life is not your responsibility. It is mine and mine alone. I have no intention of dieing. I have survived this long and will continue to do so. Things will go back to normal around here. You and the rest of Weiss will leave me to my own affairs and forget that any of this ever happened." I tell him, as if instructing a child.

"Omi, you know we can't do that. Aya and Youji have searched your room. They took away your dagger and drugs. They, also, took away anything, including your darts and crossbow, that could be used to hurt yourself. I'm going to call Manx tomorrow." Ken informs me.

"You have no right to take away my weapons. You _will_ return them to me. Don't make me pull rank on you. I will if I have to. As for calling Manx, go ahead. It won't change anything. As long as I do my job efficiently Kritiker doesn't give a damn what I'm doing to myself. Do you honestly think you're the only ones to have found out about the cutting or drugs? Not many people have, but my earlier instructors have, when I was younger and still learning how to hide it. They didn't care, as long as I completed my missions well." Ken just stares at me, realization slowly dawning on him. "Now, if that will be all, I'm going to go and get some sleep. We'll have to open the shop soon." With a triumphant smirk I head up to my room, leaving a stunned Ken behind.

When I reach my room I notice my drawers are messy, as if someone has searched through them. My closet is still open and I right away notice the missing weapons around the room. I kept many hidden, in case of an attack on the apartment. I drop to my knees and grope the bottom side of the bed, finding the knife and darts that I had attached there gone. I checked my drawer with the fake, removable bottom, the small gun I kept there in case of emergencies removed. I had no drugs left, besides the crack that Mastermind took earlier this night. I go over to a loose floorboard and pry it open, finding my extra blades have vanished, as well. Now, thoroughly pissed, I realize they have even taken my pocket knife, pins, and letter opener. I let out a frustrated growl. I'm willing to bet they have, also, hidden the extra weapons we have for missions, which are usually kept in the basement of the shop. I flop down on my bed dejectedly. I don't like the idea of not knowing where my beautiful dagger is. It's very precious to me. I've grown attached to it. It's like a part of me. It _will_ be returned to me. I will make sure of that.

I awake the next morning to voices mumbling on the other side of my door. I scowl for being woken up, but will myself out of bed anyway and hurriedly get dressed. The voices are still there. I put my ear to the door to listen.

"I tried last night. He refuses to change his behavior." I can make out that voice to be Ken's.

"He doesn't have a choice, we'll make him smarten up. It's for the good of Weiss." I can only assume that's Aya. I suddenly hear a thud, as if something or someone has been shoved into the wall.

"Is that all you care about? Weiss? What about Omi?" That sounds like Youji.

"Get off of me, Kudou." Aya's voice is lowering and I can imagine his eyes are slits by now. Any moment we'll hear the much anticipated "shi-ne".

"Break it up you two. You can screw around with each other later. Right now we have to think about Omi." Ken cuts in. If they were thinking about me then they shouldn't have been making so much noise outside my door to begin with. It's rude to be awoken by such racket.

I roll my eyes in exasperation. They're having an argument outside the door of a trained assassin. Do they not think I would notice?

"_I_am thinking of Omi. It's this cold-hearted bastard over here who is not." Youji snaps.

"Opposed to what you may think I do care for Omi." Aya glares (and I'm positive he's glaring) back.

"You have a funny way of showing it." Youji snorts.

"Would you two just shut up?" I hear Ken starting up again. I'm far too tired to suffer through this. I knock on my door to get their attention. There is silence. My bedroom door slowly opens. I see those responsible for my lack of sleep staring back at me confused.

"I thought you were sleeping." Ken says.

"I was. I was stirred from my sleep by some rather loud arguing going on just outside my bedroom door." I inform him, annoyed. Ken and Youji look guilty, while Aya looks indifferent. I look at my clock and see that it is eight o'clock. I'm quite impressed that Youji, and Ken for that matter, are up this early. "It seems that I have another two hours before my shift and I would like to get back to sleep, so if you would be so kind as to take your conversation somewhere else, it would be most appreciated." With that said I close my door and return to the warm embrace of my bed. I hear the rest of Weiss leave down the hall and drift off into a comfortable sleep.

I wake up for the second time this morning to the buzz of my alarm clock. It's nine thirty. I take a quick shower, get dressed in pants and a long-sleeved shirt, and head downstairs to the kitchen. After grabbing a caffeinated beverage from the fridge I head to the shop. I find Ken unlocking the doors and switching the open/closed sign. I take a seat at the register and wait for him to realize I'm here. Normally, I would come and give him a cheery 'hello', followed by an adorable smile, and start greeting any customers that come. Today, I just didn't see the point in keeping up such a positive façade with the rest of Weiss. I have no intention of acting like myself, I don't want to scare them after all, but I don't have to be so unbelievably happy all the time in front of them, anymore. Not to mention, I'm still kinda pissed about being woken up by their racket this morning.

"Eh, good morning, Omi." Ken says uncertainly. I can tell he is still nervous around me.

"Yo." I say monotonously. Ken can be dense sometimes and I want to make it clear I do not appreciate having my sleep interrupted by my three noisy teammates. No customers have entered the shop yet.

"Um... Omi," Ken starts hesitantly. "About the mission-"

"I got it covered." I interrupt him. "I will look up his current possible location. This guy doesn't bother trying to hide and his whereabouts are rather easy to track once you have a lead. I should have him pinpointed again soon. The mission will commence as planned before. This time, though, we should keep an eye out for Schwarz. They seem to have some interest in this scientist, or maybe they're just trying to mess with our minds and piss us off. Either way, we should be careful." Ken is silent for a moment, seemingly taking everything I have just said in.

"Omi, I don't really think you should continue to go on missions while you're..." Ken stops, not wanting to upset me probably. It doesn't matter, I have a good idea of what he was going to say.

"Unstable?" I help him. He looks at me uncertainly once more. I roll my eyes. So predictable. "I've been '_unstable_' since before you joined Weiss. All of this time I managed to complete my jobs well. How have things changed? I was always unstable, the only difference is now you know I am."

I am saved from more of his useless protests when the bell attached to the door rings, signaling the entrance of customers. I quickly plaster an unmovable, though utterly fake, smile on my face and greet the girls.

About half way through my shift Youji comes down to the shop. Oh my gods, he's out of bed for the second time today, without being forced! It's the end of the world, run! Hmmm....maybe he's ill? More likely, he is checking up on me. Just great. This is just what I need. I frown momentarily. I'm too damn tired for this.

"Hey, Kenken. 'Morning, Omittichi." Youji said, obviously forcing a smile. Honestly, am I the only one who can act on this team?

"More like afternoon, Youji-kun." I reply with false cheerfulness. Smile...smile...just wait until the customers leave. A small group of giggling bimbos comes over to Youji and I.

"Omi, I haven't seen you in a while. I see you've changed you style a little bit, ne? You look really great." One of the girls gush. At the comment Youji has a visibly nervous look. Now that Weiss knows the real reason I wear pants and long sleeves, a comment like that must be a reminder of how painfully blind they've been.

"Thank you very much." I smile shyly and make myself blush. This just causes the girls to squeal in delight. Jeez...they're like banshees. That is not a normal pitch, I'm surprised dogs haven't come running.

The rest of my shift went rather uneventfully. I spent most of the time trying to ignore and avoid Ken and Youji. I spent the remainder of the afternoon researching the possible locations of our target. I really didn't want to have to face an awkward meal with the guys, so I skipped dinner.

I stare at the glowing screen while speedily typing away. The ring of the phone interrupts my concentration and I go to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Omi. It's Manx. I got a message from Ken, telling me to call him back. He said there was a problem. Do you know anything about that?" I hear Manx's voice on the other end of the line. I scowl. Damn that Ken.

"Oh, it's nothing really. Ken was just overreacting. I told him not to call. We went for the target yesterday, but he had escaped and we had a confrontation with Mastermind. No one was injured. I think he just wanted to mess with us. Though, there is a good chance they are guarding the scientist for some reason. I just found his new location and we will head out again tonight." I say, lying easily.

"Alright. Good luck." With a click the line goes dead. If Ken or the rest of them keep messing in my business I will just have to eliminate them. It shouldn't be too hard to find a new team. Kritiker has been training quite a few new recruits. It would be simple to get rid of them. I am officially in charge and have the power to remove anyone I wish to from the group. If I really wanted to, I could probably get away with killing any one of them. I smirk grimly at the thought. I shake the morbid thoughts out of my head and go upstairs. I find them just finishing dinner.

"Cancel any plans for tonight, we have a mission." I say, drawing their attention to the kitchen doorway. "I found the target's new location.

It's dark as we creep into the abandoned warehouse. How clichéd. I was returned my darts and crossbow for the mission, but the others haven't taken their eyes off me since they were given back. There are no guards in sight once again. Near the back a few tables littered with test tubes, files, and utensils. There are, also, a few cages set up around them. The room smells disgustingly of blood. I see the others grimace, but I have become too accustomed to the stench to care. The warehouse consists of two main rooms, one large area on the lower level, and a small office on the higher level. The target is nowhere in to be seen. I have an uneasy feeling. Something big is going to happen, but I don't know what.

"Ah, Kitten. It's so nice to see you again." I growl at the cocky voice. Turning around I see the familiar redhead. I have to keep my temper in check and focus on the main objective. There is a sudden glint of silver flying through the air that catches my eye. It goes by me. I look to my side to see Ken jerk suddenly. He looks down and I follow his eyes. A shining knife is embedded in his side. I watch, lost in my own world, as beautiful crimson drips slowly from the opening. My hands start to itch. Ken tugs the blade out with a grunt of pain. I watch as more blood gushes out and pools on the floor. So beautiful... Schuldig's cruel laugh startles me from my daze.

"Pretty, isn't it?" He asks mockingly. I see no reason to lie, so I just shrug. He seems a little surprised by my response, but then just laughs harder. I see Berserker (A/N: Is that his codename? I'm so horrible, I don't remember! ;;) step out from the shadows, fingering a knife similar to the one Ken has just pulled out of his side.

"Hurting kittens, hurts God." He says, while cackling. Ken sends a glare at the psycho, holding his side where he just wounded him. I see nearly invisible wires shoot towards the two Schwarz members. Schuldig jumps out of the way, while Farfarello lets the wires cut him, actually seeming to enjoy it.

Oracle and Prodigy pop out of nowhere and immediately start attacking us. The fight has begun. I am slammed into a wall by Nagi. I hold my head. He proceeds to smash me into the ceiling and let me crash to the floor. Man, if this keeps up I'm going to get a concussion. I look up to see Aya futilely trying to slash Oracle with his katana. Ken has somehow caught Berserker and is beating the shit out of him, probably still pissed about being stabbed. I don't think Ken is getting the desired response from Farfarello, who is smiling rather...._contentedly_. I shutter. He's just about as crazy as me. Youji has a few good bruises and cuts on him, but nothing serious. He has Mastermind caught in his wires and is tightening them around his neck. Schuldig actually seems distressed. I smirk. My vision grows blurry for a minute, but I refuse to let the darkness overtake me. I can see Prodigy calmly walking up to me, readying for another attack. I take him off guard, pulling out some darts and hitting him in the arm. He stumbles back, shocked. He suddenly collapses to the floor. The darts weren't meant to kill, but stun the receiver. The poison in it should keep him unable to move for a few hours, but the effects will probably not last as long for someone like him (with powers). I look over to Aya once more. Crawford actually has a few cuts on him. We're actually winning for once. I go to take out some darts to hit Berserker with when someone grabs my hand. They grip it so hard I cry out in pain. I hear a snap. Crap! They broke my fucking wrist! I look up to see who my attacker is. When I life my eyes to meet those of the attacker I see pure blue, the eyes of an angel. My eyes widen in confusion and disbelief.

"Hello, Omi, my love." Time stops and everything freezes. I can't see or hear anything except for the one in front of me. My mouth drops open, gaping. I stare unbelieving at the person before me. Aki!

**To Be Continued**

**Author's Note:** Well, there's my little twist. This was originally going to be an Omi/Nagi story, but I had to change Nagi's character so much I just made up a new one all together. I hope you all liked this chapter. I'll admit it wasn't my best. Please continue to read and review!


	9. Shattered Romance

**Tainted White**

**- Shattered Romance -**

**By: Li'l Amethyst Angel**

**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack? Will someone be there to pick up the pieces?

**Warnings:** OOC (dark Omi), angst, swearing, self mutilation (cutting), shounen-ai.

**Omi's POV**

Clear blue eyes gaze into mine and a soft hand comes up to caress my cheek. I shiver. Why is Aki here? Is this some trick by Schwarz? I feel a sharp pain in my broken wrist. Aki would never hurt me. Aki smiles. His smile is no longer innocent. It is cruel, mocking and overwhelming. I shake my head. No, no that's not right. Aki is my opposite. My angel. He is pure white. I couldn't have been so totally wrong.

"Oh, yes. Yes, you were, my dear. So wrong." I just now notice the others have stopped fighting and are watching our exchange; Weiss in confusion and Schwarz in perverse pleasure. I take a step back from Aki, my eyes never leaving his. He...he's betraying me. Like everyone else. He can't. He was different. He takes a step forward, so we are once again close enough that our noises almost touch.

"Ah, but it seems yet again you were wrong. You vowed to yourself never to trust anyone, never put yourself in such a position as you are in now. What happened to that silent promise?" Aki smirks. Realization starts to dawn on me. He's replying to my thoughts. He's just like Mastermind, he's a telepath. Oh my god, I had my shields down around him. Kritiker-

"I did get some information out of you, but nothing that could be useful." He sighs, interrupting my thoughts. "You seem to bury most of it deep within your mind and always keep some kind of barrier around it. It was not my objective to bring down Kritiker."

I swallow and force my voice to come out steadily. "What is your objective?" I ask, only managing a whisper.

"My objective all along has been to..." Aki leans closer, his breath tickling my ear, "kill you."

I let out a strangled cry. This isn't right. It's not true. None of this is real. It's a nightmare or an illusion. "It's not true!" I scream, stumbling back as if struck. The only response this gains is harsh laughter from Aki.

"Leave him alone!" I hear Ken yell at Aki.

"Bombay, snap out of it." Aya shouts.

"Guys! The target!" Youji shouts, pointing to our target, who is trying to exit the building without drawing our attention. I see Youji use his wire to strangle the mad scientist. Schwarz doesn't make a move to stop him. Aya eyes them suspiciously. I look at Aki in question.

"I told you that killing you was the main objective. Your target means nothing to us." Aki says airily. I cringe as the words leave his mouth.

"Aki, let's go. Farf is loosing a lot of blood." Mastermind calls.

"Well, I guess I'll take my leave now, Omi. Don't worry, I'll see you soon, love." With that said, he leaves with the rest of Schwarz. I stare at the door Aki left through. All those times we shared together, when he comforted me, they were all false. I feel someone put there arm around me and drag me to the car. I don't know who, not that it really matter, Schwarz could be kidnapping me for all I care.

"Omi..." I hear a familiar voice, but am too out of it to identify it.

As much as I don't want to believe this it does make sense. I knew Mastermind couldn't have known all of those things in the short time my mental shields were down. Aki, on the other hand, spent time with me when I had them down, and could have told the rest of Schwarz of my...problems. There were times when Aki seemed to know what I was thinking. I guess that was because he did. Also, it would explain why Aki was so nice to me. He was trying to get close to me so he could bring me down. Schwarz must finally be trying to take down Weiss. What better way to do it than by taking down the leader? Even so, there must be more to their decision of ruining my life eve more so than it already is. I feel my eyes closing. I'm exhausted and I don't want to think about this anymore. Soon I am comforted by the darkness.

I feel a hand brushing my bangs away from my face and stopping to rest on my forehead. I can tell I'm on a bed. When I open my eyes I half expect to see those loving blue eyes that haunt my memory. It is not Aki I see. I stare into warm, brown eyes instead. Ken.

"Hey." He smiles. "You're up. You passed out in the car. Youji carried you in. We were really worried about you."

"I'm fine." I say tiredly. I shift to the side to avoid Ken's hand. He frowns as I do so.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink?" He asks. I shake my head 'no'. My mind wandered to the events of last night and I felt a strange pain in my chest. I'm not used to this feeling. What is it? Unconsciously, I place my hand over my heart. Ken looks at me with sadness and understanding.

"I know it hurts." He all but whispers. What hurts? Does he know why I'm feeling pain? How can he if even I don't? "I know it hurts when someone you love betrays you," Ken continues.

Is that what I'm feeling? Betrayal, yes. I can't really blame Aki thought, now can I? I knew this would happen. I brought this on myself. It would be like jumping into a pit of hungry lions and being surprised if one of them bit you. Even though I started to love Aki, some part of me knew, one day, he would turn from me. You would think knowing that, expecting that, would lessen the pain, but it doesn't. I notice Ken's gaze is still firmly fixed on me. The brunette places his hand gently on top of mine. I had involuntarily tightened my hold on my shirt and was digging my fingernails into the skin beneath it.

"Omi, it's not your fault, you know." Ken says. I glare at him.

"Actually, it is. I endangered Weiss and Kritiker. I'm not going to say I'm sorry, because I'm not, but I am angry with myself for being so gullible. I should have realized he was lying. There was evidence, I had suspicions, but I still never questioned his actions. I knew better." I grumble more to myself than him. "I changed myself. I'm not supposed to be able to be affected anymore, I'm not white anymore. I am the darkness. Black isn't supposed to be affected."

"Omi, you're human. Even the most intense darkness can be lightened." I don't respond. Suddenly, an overwhelming need to cut engulfs me. I need my dagger. I need _something_. I growl, remembering the others have taken away all of my weapons. As if it wasn't enough to take away my beloved dagger they had to completely remove everything sharp from the damn house. I would break a mirror or window and use the glass, but the noise would draw the others, who would stop me before I had a chance to make the beautiful blood visible. My hands are starting to shake, so I shove them under the covers. Ken looks at my quizzically.

"Ken, I'm tired. Can you please just leave?" He nods and exits my room, closing the door behind him. I immediately jump out of bed and start pacing the floor. I stop dead in my tracks. As thorough as the guys were I'm sure they didn't take away my cross necklace. Manx had given it to me a while back as a birthday gift. If you press down on the top a little blade will pop out of the bottom. I rush over to my dresser and open a wooden box sitting there. Lo and behold, my lovely cross. I got to stand over by my window. The curtains are drawn, so sunlight pours in, lighting the room. The brightness is almost painful. I grimace. I hate the light. I hold the dazzling blade above my left arm. This position is so familiar. How many times have I found myself with a blade hovering over my burning skin, my blood begging to be released, the blade begging to be tainted.

As I finally press down, feeling my body relax, I look once more out the window and towards the sun. I am reminded of my light, Aki. A bitter smile touches my lips. Aki is still my angel, only now, he is my fallen angel.

**To Be Continued**

**Author's Note:** I finally got my next chapter up. The story is coming to end. There may be only one or two more chapters left. I would appreciate it if you would continue to review. Thanks.


	10. Till Death Do Us Part

**Tainted White**

**- Til Death Do Us Part -**

**By: Li'l Amethyst Angel**

**Summary:** Omi is not as happy as everyone thinks. Weiss never looks behind the smile, but what happens when his façade starts to crack? Will someone be there to pick up the pieces?

**Warnings:** OOC (dark Omi), angst, violence, suicide, swearing, self mutilation (cutting), and shounen-ai.

**Omi's POV**

It's been three days since I last saw Aki, during that horrid mission. The guys have been tip toeing around on egg shells around me lately. Ken has been following me around and babying me, Youji has been trying to get me to out and get drunk and forget, and Aya has been giving me space, probably the only effort out of the three I appreciate. Ken insisted I take a few days off of working at the Koneko and school. As much as I hate to admit it I am exhausted and so took Ken's advice...er, command, and have been moping around my room since. I have been refusing to eat and the guys, even Mr. Stoic, are becoming increasingly worried by the day.

I've had a lot of time to think, sitting in this stuffy room, which by now has acquired the smell of blood once more. I have finally decided what must be done. I was drowning. I had been for a long time. In a desperate last attempt I grabbed onto a rock, Aki. Now that my rock as crumpled I will drown.

A knocking at the door interrupts my thoughts.

"What?" I ask, not bothering to mask my annoyance.

"Manx is here." Ken's soft voice drifts from the other side of the door.

"Fine." I sigh, standing up, and doing a quick once-over of my appearance in the mirror.

Once I reach the basement the other guys are already sitting. Manx looks up at me and smiles slightly, popping the tape in. The others haven't mentioned anything about Aki to Kritiker. I wrote the report and left out the part about Aki, just saying we had an encounter with Schwarz and that it came to an end when the target was assassinated and one of theirs' (Berserker) was severely injured, resulting in their departure. I am brought out of my thoughts when Manx hands me a folder. I quickly flip through it.

"You're sending us after drug dealers?" I look at her incredulously.

"They're not selling any ordinary drug. We believe them to have connection with Este, as was mentioned in the tape." She gives me a sharp look, telling me she knew I wasn't paying attention to it. "The drug, which the dealers claim to be heroin, is in fact an entirely different are more volatile substance. The effects are not immediate, but after a short period of time the internal organs begin to melt, resulting in certain death."

"Alright then. Mission accepted." With a nod, Manx leaves.

I look back to Weiss and notice they all have looks of horrified worry. What the hell? It suddenly dawns on me.

"Relax. The stuff I got was clean. I would have noticed if it wasn't. Anyways, I don't take heroin." I tell them gruffly. Aya's expression hardens once again, Youji turns away guiltily, and Ken lets out a relieved sigh.

"Kritiker actually gave us some useful information this time." I say, dropping the folder onto the table. "We will intercept the delivery of this mystery drug tonight. Be on guard. If these people are somehow related to Este, it is likely Schwarz will be there." That's something I'm counting on.

The rest of the day is spent preparing for the mission. I gather the others. It is time to leave. The place isn't all that far from here. It takes place outside an old factory, which would have closed hours ago. A pale moon is barely seen through grey clouds that litter the night sky. A harsh wind blows, chilling me to the bone. Thank the gods I chose to stick with pants.

As we reach our location I find myself fingering the silver cross around my neck. I have opted to wear it all the time, incase I ever need it. I've been finding myself needing it a lot lately. If the others have noticed my little trinket they haven't mentioned it.

The car stops and we all get into position. I watch from the tree branch I am perched on as some men dressed in black suits carry matching briefcases to the group of guys waiting by the factory. One of the ratty, tough-looking guys flips open the briefcases and nods pulling out some wad of cash out of on of his many pockets.

"Now." Aya's hard voice rips out through the headset.

I take aim and shoot some darts, taking out two of the guys. Two more of the men seem to be choking, no doubt by Youji's wire, though I cannot see it from here. I hear a harsh cry as Aya and Ken charge at the remaining criminals. I notice a movement out of the corner of my eye and turn to find Aki standing there, smirking at me.

I smirk back. He's here.

I jump out of the tree, knowing Aki is following me. I turn and face him.

"Aki, I want to know something." I start quietly. Why did you choose me? Out of all of Weiss why did you want to destroy me?

"Why? We chose you because we wanted to break Weiss. Whether you realize it or not you were the member who held Weiss together. If we were to kill another member of Weiss you would not break, simply because you wouldn't care. You would keep the others sane. You would keep them from the brink of insanity, and not be pushed there yourself. No, not you. Because you have already fallen." Aki replies to my thoughts.

Ah, so the reason they chose to destroy me was because I am already insane. I would keep one of the other's deaths from destroying them and the team. There goal is to destroy Weiss and if they kill me, they succeed in doing that. I guess I was the logical choice then.

"I knew you would agree." Aki purrs. Those deceptively kind eyes lock with mine.

"You know me so well. Then, you know what I am going to do." I say, as I begin o run to the factory. Aki chases after me. I pass Youji, Ken, and Aya, all of whom are now fighting another member of Schwarz.

We run through the factory, and up flights and flights of stairs until we reach the roof. As I open the door and re-enter the cold outdoors I feel something wet hit my face. It's snowing. I turn to Aki, who is also outside now. Little snowflakes have gathered on his long eyelashes, his cheeks are rosy from the cold, and he is panting slightly from the run. Dull moonlight hits his face, accenting his gentle features. I feel the a warm feeling inside.

"You know I don't love you." I say suddenly, breaking the silence.

"I know. And you know that I don't love you either." He whispers. I nod.

Gazing at each other for a moment longer, we both suddenly begin to fight. He ducks the punch I throw and I avoid his kick. We fight for a while longer until I pull a knife out of my sleeve and catch him off guard, slicing him in the stomach.

"You cheated." He laughs lightly. I smile in turn.

"You made me realize something. I'm not black and never have been." He grins, amused.

"Good, I was hoping you would realize that. No one can ever be black. It's not possible. Everyone can be affected by something. We're just... tainted." He states quietly.

"Tainted white." I finish for him. He nods once more and we continue our battle. I don't know how long we were on that roof, fighting, we had no concept of time.

I finally manage to bring him down. I stab him callously in the side. He stumbles backwards and falls to his knees, gasping for air.

"I hate you." Aki chokes out. I smile.

"I hate you too." He smiles too, understanding. We can't love. We've seen and done too much to be able to do so. Since we can't feel love, the strongest feeling we can possess is hate.

With one last smile I pull the knife out of his side and drive it into his heart. I drop to my knees beside his dead body. My angel. I touch his pale, lifeless face. So beautiful. I go over to the edge and look down to see Weiss is running inside, to get to me. Schwarz must have left when they sensed Aki was dead. I can see the fear and pained understanding on their faces as they enter, out of my sight. They're too far to reach me and they know it.

I take the bloodied knife from Aki's chest and stare at the shining red beads, slowly slipping down onto my hand. A brightness engulfs the area and the snow covered ground sparkles in the light. I realize the sun has come up. Perfect. I look up at it, the light and back down to the weapon in my freezing hand. I slowly raise it to my chest and position it over my heart. With one quick thrust I have impaled myself and slowly consciousness fades. I hear, see and sense nothing besides Aki lying in front of me surrounded by precious white. I fall onto my side, still facing Aki. I can see the crimson starting to surround me, tainting the snow, tainting the white, tainting my soul. That is the last thing I see before I close my eyes for eternal rest.

Tainted white.

**The End**

**Author's Note**: OMFG! I killed Omi! Please don't flame me for this. The ending wasn't exactly a happy one, but this wasn't exactly a happy fic. Thank you to all of you for reading, especially to those who reviewed. I'll love you forever for reviewing.


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